• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Chronic Advocacy

Self-Advocacy Education for Chronic Conditions

Main navigation

  • Welcome
  • About
    • Our Mission
    • In the Media
  • Services
    • The SPEAK Model
    • for Individuals
    • for Groups
    • for Caregivers
  • Blog
  • Contact
Home / Archives for fun

fun

Losing My Cancer Bestie

Casey Shank, M.Ed., LPCC · Mar 18, 2018 · 2 Comments

 

So… not the greatest week.  On Thursday, my cancer bestie passed away. She has been living with stage 4 cancer for around 5 years, so it was pretty exhausting.  We had talked about death together plenty of times. It doesn’t matter if you are expecting it or if it happens suddenly. The people you leave behind still have the same amount of grief. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been to continue to push forward day after day with this painful, exhausting disease.  She was so powerful, strong, and stubborn.

We because friends because we met at a cancer camp, but stayed friends for any other normal reasons for friendship.  It wasn’t about the cancer.  It was about laughing, adventuring, and connecting. On several occasions, she told me our relationship was somehow different than just regular friends.  We would have a blast together, get annoyed by each other, be really honest with each other, and even got into a fight that resulted in a small break in communication for a few months.  We both knew it would pass, and of course it did.

The adventures we went on included, surfing, paddle boarding, white water rafting, camping, skydiving, and a forever reminder…getting tattoos. We taught each other our favorite crafts, exchanged silly gifts, brought in 2017 new years, ate Mexican food, told our life stories, and connected deeply.  Once we figured out that we could just communicate by sending GIFs, Bitmojis, emojis, silly videos and pictures, that became the norm.  Becky’s love for animals was so so huge.  I would send her animal stuff and anything we thought was funny.  On several occasions, my phone would ding 20 times in a row indicating that I was receiving messages.  It got to the point that words were not too necessary and we could “get” each other just with these little exchanges.

When you meet someone with advanced cancer, you are pretty sure of how they will die.  You just have no idea when. It is different when you know it is going to happen. We have been friends for 2.5 years and I knew the whole time.  Neither of us knew when. We cherished all of our times together and always made plans for the next time. Neither of us were afraid to do that. I like to think I consider all of my good friends as gifts I could lose at any moment. I truly believe that I cherish most of the moments I have with the people with whom I am close.  I never forget to hug tight, say I love you, and remind them of how great it is to have them in my life.  That is just who I am.  I know part of that comes from losing my brother at such an early age. I feel so lucky to have that perspective.  No mater how hard life can be, I don’t have any regret or fear that people will not know how much I love them.

 

I Wouldn’t Trade It

Casey Shank, M.Ed., LPCC · Feb 4, 2018 · Leave a Comment

My life is Beautiful

It is Strange and Unpredictable

It is Colorful and Creative

There is Laughter and Love

I travel places Far and Near

I am Sensitive

I Experience New People

I have to Be Brave

Things are Fluid and Stuck

I live with Illness – Some Chronic, some just visiting

Music Demands that I Dance

I wear Costumes

I value Communication

I Forgive

My world is a Musical

Disappointment Exists

Learning is SO Awesome

My family Cares Deeply for Each Other

I get Angry

Sadness Overwhelms me

I am Strong

My Heart could Explode

This Life Is Mine

Ok, Readers…I invite you to take some time to reflect on your own life and what is true for you.

Be Well

My Many Adventures In Healing

Casey Shank, M.Ed., LPCC · Oct 1, 2017 · 5 Comments

Being sick is a bummer. Once the big sick cleared, I found healing in adventure.  It is true that laughter is the medicine.  Along with that, taking risks, meeting new people, enjoying the incredible outdoors, getting in the water, doing yoga, and sleeping under the stars ranks pretty high. The organizations below have impacted my healing from cancer in one way or another.

If you know a young adult with cancer, are a young adult with cancer, or want to donate to a young adult cancer organization, I am providing some videos from SOME of the organizations who opened their hearts and were willing to help. After you check out the heartfelt videos, you will understand that you will not have to worry about me as long as these organizations exist. Please feel free to visit their websites to learn more, add them on your amazon smile account, or help raise funds for them with me. If you happen to do the latter, or have ideas on how to do that, please let me know.

Camp Koru was the first camp I went to in Maui, Hawaii.  I was treated to surfing, sleeping on the beach, eating the most amazing, healthy food, and most importantly, making lifelong friends who understood my experience.

Project Koru also had me as a guest on their This Is Life retreat where I was given an abundance of resources for life after cancer.

First Descents took me to Outter Banks, North Carolina for a week-long surf trip where I learned amazing things about nutrition, took part in silly traditions, and stayed in an incredible beach house with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.

I am so lucky because the headquarters for First Descents is in Denver, CO!! They put on quarterly events for locals, along with some really awesome fundraising parties.  This summer, I went white water paddle boarding and pushed myself beyond what I thought was possible.  This organization encourages a healthy, active lifestyle and has gently challenged me to push through the obstacles I thought were in my way.

Dear Jack Foundation also has its headquarters in Denver.  Dear Jack is like my little Denver cancer family.  They support a few programs. These include a yoga program I go to with the same group of friends about once a month. They also have a program for patients who have pretty extreme treatments call the Life List.  This is similar to make a wish because Dear Jack tries to make exceptional things happen so patients have something awesome to look forward to. By default, participants and their families become part of a community of survivors.

Another organization that gave me a stellar experience is River Discovery. The website does not have any videos, but they have an awesome photo gallery.

I encourage you to help yourself and others find ways to heal this way and to…

Be Well

How Pitching A Tent Has Increased My Independence

Casey Shank, M.Ed., LPCC · Aug 27, 2017 · 1 Comment

https://www.chronicadvocacy.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/pitching-my-own-tent.m4a

Last week, my therapist told me he was taking a new job and could no longer have a private practice or see me.  I had mixed feelings about this. I have been working with him for about a year and he is the first therapist I have worked with who has provided valuable information that has really helped me make changes I thought were impossible. I have a way better understanding of how my mind, body, and spirit all work together.  I am so much better at combating anxiety, worry, and the fear of negative interactions with other people. I have become more assertive and do not let myself believe that my needs and feelings are less important than those of others. I have a lot more clarity, strength, and overall sense of calm.

While it is hard to end that relationship, it is clear that now I am equipped to do so.  As a counselor, I know it is important to discontinue seeing, or “break up” with my therapist.  If done right, the point is to be able to take what I have learned and put it to practice.  There comes a time when it is up to me to continue without a regular appointment.  Discontinuing therapy does not mean that now I am on my own and have to face the world with no support.  The support just starts to look different. Sometimes, part of therapy is to build support and know how to support others.  I have no problem building my community and being someone who cares for others, so I am sure I am not alone moving forward.

One of my goals was to start being more independent.  I have never been afraid to ask for help, but sometimes, that left me being dependent on others and not pushing hard enough to do something on my own. It can be hard to know if I am able to do certain things because sometimes I lack clarity and don’t trust myself. At times, I am not sure if I am scared, frustrated, or if I actually cannot physically or mentally complete the task.

To practice my independence this summer, I tried to do things I had never done on my own.  These things had to be concrete so I knew I was making progress. One of the things I did was go camping and figure out how to set up and take down my site all by myself.  In the past, I always shared a tent with someone and was never very helpful.  I depended on others to do it the “right” way while I mostly just sat back and watched. Doing this a few times has been just the thing to increase my confidence and I know I am able to do things by myself.

I am aware that most people are able to pitch a tent without second-guessing themselves. This is just symbolic of how I have been able to step back and recognize that I had some pretty big misconceptions about what I can and can’t do. I live in a beautiful state with endless opportunities to play outside any time of year. For some reason, I have always lacked the confidence to make room in my life to play outside more often. I relied on other people to take the lead. While I know it is not smart for me to explore the outdoors by myself with little knowledge, I have the courage to take a more active role. It is so good for me to breathe fresh air, challenge myself with new activities, and just get super dirty. Having done this simple thing this summer, I have noticed myself taking more opportunities for independence.

I am so grateful to have had the experience of working with my therapist.  I love knowing that I am able to do more than I think I can.  Over the last year, the work we did has changed me. No matter how hard it looks, I will now try new things on my own. SO, now that we all know that I can pitch my own tent, who wants to go play outside with me??

Be Well.

I went looking for a song about being an independent woman, really liked this one, and then saw it was at a Stand Up To Cancer event. How interesting… Enjoy!

I’ve Got 99 Coping Skills and Doing Nothing Ain’t One

Casey Shank, M.Ed., LPCC · Aug 13, 2017 · Leave a Comment

The best way I get through life is to be prepared.  I have a plan in place for times when I need to address my bigger feelings such as sadness, anger, loneliness, hurt, disappointment, fear, nervousness, excitement, love, inspiration, hope, and anticipation. When you read through that list, you may not have been expecting “positive” feelings. In my life, my emotions can be very big and magnified.  I have learned to accept this because it is hard to change who I am and I don’t think I necessarily have to.

Because my emotions arrive somewhat like a tidal wave, I have discovered they aren’t going to magically go away and I have to find ways to feel calm and safe when they rush in. Even my excitement and motivation come with a strong force.  People who know me have most likely seen the wave pretty quickly.  I sometimes feel apologetic. Really, I want to apologize to myself for the discomfort.

Instead of getting into the big cycle of judgement, blame, or embarrassment, I have learned that I have to feel my emotions, AND I have the choice to handle them however I want.  The way I do this is to accept my discomfort and use my VERY LONG list of coping skills.  Coping skills don’t have to be this big ordeal.  They can simply be a distraction. Sometimes, they are very productive. Many times, the first thing I try isn’t the thing that works.  At times, I have to try and combine multiple things in hopes for a good outcome.

My top coping skills are:
  1. Calling my friends and family to ask for help
  2. Walking around the lake
  3. Doing laundry
  4. Going to the movies
  5. Working out at the pool
  6. Making crafts
  7. Writing
  8. Going out to eat
  9. Dancing
  10. Singing
  11. Talking to my therapist
  12. Scrolling through Facebook
  13. Leaving my house
  14. Getting a pedicure
  15. Using essential oils
  16. Looking through my pictures
  17. Using grounding techniques like tapping, meditation, and observing things around me
  18. Counting
  19. Spending time being silly with my Best Friend/Roommate, Rob

Those are just a few of my many. I found this list of 99 coping skills if you are interested in creating your own list and need inspiration. These skills are good to have handy in your mind because we all need them at some point or another.  There does not even have to be a big event or feeling to use them.  For the most part, we are all coping with simply being alive.

Be Well

More Articles »

Primary Sidebar

Articles About

acceptance adventure anxiety authenticity cancer celiac change chronic Chronic Advocacy chronic illness chronic pain community coping creativity depression encouragement family fatigue friends fun grief hair health help hope humor laughing life love mental health mindfulness network resilience resources self-advocacy speak Spoonie stress success support therapy tools travel wellness young adult cancer

Chronic Life Archives

The SPEAK™ Model

Designed for use across various personal and professional settings, the SPEAK™ model guides individuals with chronic conditions in the process of advocating for themselves. Find out how SPEAK™ can improve the conversation surrounding your condition and care…

SPEAK™ for Individuals »
SPEAK™ for Groups»
SPEAK™ for Caregivers »

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Twitter

You May Have Heard of Us Through


TheMightyMileHighYouthCorpsUpWithPeopleGoodwill
HeartfeltHugsMetroStateUniversityDenverDenverScholarshipFoundation StupidCancer
CommCollegeDenverBoulderCoAgencyAgingColoradoStateUniversity

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Twitter

CHRONIC ADVOCACY
Denver, CO 80202 · 717-82-SPEAK

© Chronic Advocacy · All Rights Reserved · Terms & Privacy · (FC)